The other day, Leanne, one of our facilitators, sent me a link to the website for a new piece of software called ToneCheck. Like your Spell Check ensures you don’t send e-mails with spelling mistakes, ToneCheck will let you know if your e-mails “convey unintended emotion or tone.”

Wouldn’t this be great for face-to-face conversations? Or when you’re talking on the phone? If only there was a little warning that would go off right before you said something that would be misinterpreted negatively or wasn’t quite what you meant.

Because technology hasn’t advanced far enough yet to edit your thoughts, you need to rely on yourself for this task. Here are four tips to help you:

1. Speak Up!

Don’t mumble or be a low talker. When you speak, do so in a strong, confident voice. Mumbling through sentences makes you appear timid and it is difficult for listeners to decipher what you are saying. They may miss important information, fill in gaps with wrong information or just not even bother to listen to you anymore.

2. Don’t Peter Out

Don’t end your sentences inconclusively. This is the equivalent to using an ellipsis (…) at the end of sentences in e-mails. I see this more and more often. It seems to be a disease filtering through cyberspace and it sometimes infects people in the real world too. It is like people don’t trust themselves to make a commitment to their words and speech.

This type of ending leaves everything open for discussion. When you finish a sentence by petering out, people will think you don’t believe in your statement and that you’re not sure of yourself. Take a stance. Believe in your words.

3. Be Polite

Please and thank you go a long way even when you’re an adult. When asking someone to do something for you, remember to add please and thank you. It doesn’t take much, but it goes a long way to offsetting miscommunication. Without please and thank you, requests can take on the appearance of unappreciative demands.

4. Drop the Questions

Don’t turn what should be a declarative statement into a question. You know what I’m talking about, instead of stating that “The meeting will be at five,” you say, “The meeting will be at five?” because you are afraid someone will be unhappy about it. Continually doing this will give people the impression that you aren’t confident and don’t have the ability to make decisions yourself.

Plus, it’s frustrating when one person is supposed to make a decision, but then leaves it open for everyone else because they are afraid to make the call. This wastes everyone’s time. Make the decision; if someone is unhappy about it, it is their job to speak up.