You are always negotiating. Whether you know it or not, much of your day is spent in negotiations. Yes, there are the obvious ones – work schedules, salary discussions, disputes between workers, vendor and client relations, but there are many other situations when you are negotiating that you may not realize:

• You negotiate with your 4 year old about what they should wear in the morning – pink shoes, but not the Cinderella dress
• You negotiate with your spouse over time in the bathroom
• You negotiate with your colleagues over the division of team tasks
• You negotiate on what time and place a staff meeting should be

Negotiating is simply finding a mutual agreement between two parties who have different positions and interests. For example, Cathy wants the meeting at 10:00 am so she can check her e-mail and return calls first and Dan wants it at 9:00 am so he can meet a morning deadline.

While everyone is a negotiator, many people negotiate poorly. Here are the top 5 things you should never do:

1. Ignore it - Don’t deal with conflicting interests by denying them or trying to ignore them. By doing this you leave the door open for more intense conflict because the problem won’t just go away on its own.

2. Be a bully - Don’t take an overly aggressive approach. Negotiating isn’t about fighting or arguing or overpowering the other person. You may get what you want, but you’ll ruin the relationship.

3. Wimp out - If you are always giving in to other people, you’ll never get what you need, lowering your ability to do your job. Plus, people will see you as a pushover.

4. Sink to using "dirty" tricks - Good cop/bad cop, take it or leave it, personal attacks and other dirty tricks have no place in proper negotiations. You might get what you want, but you’ll get something else you didn’t count on – a bad reputation.

5. Think it's a one-time deal - Negotiating is all about building relationships. When you negotiate with someone you need to do so with integrity and in a way that builds trust because most likely you will be working and negotiating with the same people again and again.